Escape Vs. Reality
Many times in life you find yourself at a crossroads, not knowing which path to take...that's where I find myself today...I'm faced with a serious dilemma-I was all set to go to London this September for a masters in international marketing management to the Regents Business School-turns out my parents dont want me to go! how did this happen!?!well one: London bombings= london’s unsafe, back lash anticipated =my parents too scared to let me go- thank you al qaeda...two: both my sisters are at college in Toronto,my brother is in school and at sixteen he's oh so busy doing his thang, work has forced my father to spend the majoirty of his time in good old isloo which leaves my mother all alone in lahore, so abandoning her could possibly be the most selfish and ruthless move ever, considering the millions of sacrifices shes made for me over the years…three: the alternative is to work which seems like an exciting prospect but it means getting out of my bubble and start living in the real world arghhh...the problem is I want to go to London so bad, it almost feels like a NEED...you see the reason my post college transition was so smooth was because at the back of my head I knew I was leaving in a year…because I didn’t feel this was forever and saw light at the end of the tunnel I didn’t feel the intense suffocation/frustration/feeling trapped post college phenomenon…right now London seems sooo close yet soooooo far…a whole year to be on my own, to be at college again in my own little apartment- the freedom= no curfews, no restrictions, no obligations per se- the trips sana and I had planned to random locations in europe…good food, the cinemas, walking around, the riding classes we were supposed to take, the plan to face my worse nightmare- accouting and finance and knowing that I can have a masters degree by next summer…but my biggest reason for wanting to go to london (besides the fact that sana will never forgive me for ditching her last minute) is to escape the marriage question…but right now everything is at stake-everything in question...one thing's for sure though-London is the perfect escape!The other option is to face the reality that is my life (I know I want to live in my own country, don’t wanna be a brain drain stat and want to try and make whatever little difference I can to the plight of my own people and give back to the country that has given me everything I have ever needed) work in pakistan and just learn to adjust…In an effort to convince me of just that, my father sent me to spend the day with Hina Rabbani Khar (who btw is tooo damn cool) to work on the One Village One Product programme. Although the programme is in the incubator stage right now, I got a chance to see it materialize, first hand and it was a long, exciting and exhausting day. The One Village, One Product programme started in Japan to promote regional revitalization and was adopted by Thailand, Korea and Malaysia. Basically what happens is that each local community identifies one (in some cases more) locally unique product (for example Multan is famous for its tiles), the product is then “modernized” by top designers so that it can be sold (this includes design/packaging/ marketing), a local brand is established, and the products are then sold to the domestic market and/or beyond. As a result you speed up development of the local economy, boost rural development and empower these brilliant craftsmen (who in most cases are women) by providing them a market to sell their goods (teaching them to fish vs. giving them fish, philosophy). So you are able to create a positive economic and social impact. It’s a huge task and a great opportunity and I cant help but think I’ll be a big fat fool not to take it.
FACT: If I leave my mother alone I will absolutely die of guilt- it is my responsibility as the eldest and a part of me knows I should own up to it. FACT: most of my friends are back from college and its so tempting to stay back just for that.FACT: Regents business school isn’t exactly Harvard FACT: I will always regret not going to London sp. if my life long desire/hunger for higher education is not satiated FACT: I will have to deal with the marriage question cos I wont be able to get away with saying I’m studying- daimmmmm FACT: I have paid a hefty registration fee which of course is non-refundable FACT: I need to get away, need a break, need the freedom, need to be on my own…yes there are pros and cons for both options but it boils down to this--- > I can either study/learn about marketing management in London or practice it by working here in Pakistan…maybe this is my chance to contribute/to do my little bit for my country instead of just talking about it…maybe I should put my plans for masters on hold for now, work and apply next year…but why do I know in my gut- its now or never!
To escape or not to escape that is the question…
escape
posted by Meher at 2:19 AM
56 Comments:
i dont want to be mean or offensive which i cant even if i try my bestest but;
BRUHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
ok now that ive cleansed my system.id like to narrate this most wierd and mind blowing tale.i had this dream a couple of days back where u were saying that ure not going to london period and that u werent going to think about it.i absolutely cant get over the timing of the dream.i mean is this weird or is this weird??anyway apart from hoping what i dreamt helps you i totally second what nahzat just said.its just a year.if you do wanna go and decide to go remember its only london where schools on for six months while the other six months its either easter break,winter break or summer break.so in essence youll be visiting pakistan after every three months.
12:46 PM
btw is food for thought mony khala's blog??
12:51 PM
someone sounds desperate for a roommmate in london.i wonder who it is??:)
3:26 PM
mehroo!
firstly i see u in the exact same position i was in four years ago when after osama bin laden decided he didnt want me going to the states, my grandparents gave me their 'wasta' (yes it was that filmy), and asked me to stay back!
hence indus valley!
but i survived and infact love every minute of the past 4 yrs iv spent here.but thats besides the point, or is it.khair.
i know wat ur saying...and i suppose these attacks do kill my last ever chance to have some independence(my masters)...but u know wat...its really not safe mehr...ppl there who tell u, if they do, that its ok...are in denial...i didnt want to put my family through the ordeal of wondering every minute if i was ok...theres no set age limit for doing ur masters...mayb ek saal baad things will get better...just try to look at things positivly...watever happens, if u go or not...aaaargh...u know when ,my comments get too long, i forget what im trying to say...so make sence of wat iv written!
btw...u got 4yrs!!! im still sitting at home!grrrrrrr
lol...good luck!
3:37 PM
Hi there....accidently came across ure articles....quite interesting! a girl scared of taking a step in the real world!!! believe me its not easy....u seem to be pampered all ure life....from school to college abroad and then the time comes when u need to take the next step...which really is the REAL step! After reading ure artiles it seems that u have the spark of making a name for urself; being something in life! I also faced a similar dilemma whether to go abroad for another year or take on politics in pakistan which really has been my passion all my life! But I think Im a bit older than u and dont have the luxury of taking a year out! So I chose the latter and am really enjoyin my work...even though before i started my political career i visited london and partied like mad ;)However, it seems that u on the other hand could take a year out and really enjoy london...especially the business school which is in reagents park...;) feeding ducks and the bloody pigeons...lol...Forget the bombs, its "predestined" remember ;)!!! ure parents love u too much and theyll understand as u would be coming back after every 3 months! and after u have this london thing out of ure system (for a while atleast) then u would be able to embark on ure work whatever it is and im sure u would do wonders....it takes one to know one....
Its funny that I dont have a clue who u are....I never have the time to sit on a computer but recently in these local bodies elections ive been so busy giving advices that when I came across ure article while finding something on the net I just had to write something...Please forgive me for invading ure privacy...take care...well meet in the National Assembly a few years from now....Ill be the most good looking politician Pakistan has ever had! Modesty Aside ;)
5:17 PM
Mroo! I can't help being biased because you're my sister (and the best, I might add).. but still, I'm going to give you my honest opinion in one clear word - STAY!
Firstly I think doing your masters is great but it's not something you have to do. Doing your masters doesn't necessarily mean you'll become smarter or better at whatever work you choose to do. And let's be honest.. the main reason you want to go is because you want to go! You want to go to get away from Lahore and be on your own and have fun and take fun trips all over Europe. Sure these are good reasons, but think about it.. there'll be other stuff too - dry books, boring lectures, mind-boggling MATH AND FINANCE, tests, exams, papers, studying, cramming and the list goes on!
If you go to London (I'm telling you now).. you will not come back and work, you'll probably get married!!!!! Seriously, this is your one opportunity to work and actually do something for Pakistan (which is really amazing). I know you're thinking of course I will come back and work in this SMEDA thing - but realistically, you know you won't!
Basically, if you go to London and do your masters you'll probably never work.. and if you stay and work you'll probably never do your masters. This is the sad truth of your dilemma, which I'm telling you plainly! So that's what you have to decide.. to work or not to work. I think actually working is better than learning how to work.
AND if you to London.. when you come back next year you'll have to do the whole getting used to Lahore (the post-college adjustment you talked about) all over again.
So.... stay and work in this One Village One Product thing.. you'll be making the difference you've always wanted to make. And I think you'll do a really good job. So it's time to enter not the real world (because whichever world we live in is real.. even bubbles are real) but another kind of world!!!!!!!! You've done the studying abroad thing- now it's time to move on. Good luck!!!!!
P.S. Sorry Sana!!
11:48 PM
No one said women can't work after they get married. But just because you don't work after you're married, doesn't mean that you're useless. And it doesn't mean that you wait for your husband to come home and then complain to him about not giving you enough time. I think we all know that that's definitely not what Mehroo Apa's going to be like! And also, doing your masters is not something everyone has to do in their lives. It's really good if you do it, but it's not like you've missed out or that you're not smart just because you haven't.
I'm studying too, but I'm doing it to become better, more educated, learned, knowledgeable, open-minded, and enlightened. To be very honest I'm not doing my bachelers to get a job; I'd be very happy to sit at home, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. A person might do more sitting at home than another person sitting in an office.
2:33 AM
god bless mariam for putting everything i was (unsuccessfully) trying to say in an intelligent way!
mehr...experience is by far the best teacher and alot of very successful people will tell u that!
and yes, a masters is not compulsory!its a choice u have.
honestly speaking mehr, life here aint bad!and working is honestly amazing...its a different feeling altogether!
4:14 AM
"Many times in life you find yourself at a crossroads"
Whatever you finally decide to go with, make sure u dont end up wasting time and frustrating yourself by having regrets. Life has a funny way of taking you to the places it wants you to see, so you shouldn't at all be worried about losing out on any experiences... you have a lifetime ahead of you. The one thing you seem a little confused about is your intentions... have you asked yourself why you really want to go to London? Its not the Masters, is it? You're scared of what may lie ahead (so you want to go to London) but then theres that excitement of staying in Pakistan and getting involved with news things, new places and new people. This sounds stupid, but in the end whatever you decide is going to be what was going to happen anyway... but i think you`ll probably stay put.
5:15 AM
J stop being obnoxious and stop dreaming about me hahahahahaha
5:15 PM
thank you guys so much for your comments...i have much to say...will reply to all comments asap
5:32 PM
excellent article. this is the first one that i have read and i think majority of us girls living in Pakistan face this issue sometimes in their lives. I went through the same experience a few years ago, where my parents really put the pressure of marraige on me and I wanted to study, but being young and not having much of my independant say, i went for it. I realised later in life how much i regret not getting my undergrad. I agree being a home maker is nothing bad but i also agree that being financially dependant on your spouse for the rest of your life is unhealthy. It gives the man a kind of power which most of us girls today are not comfortable with.
Hence, I sugggest, that since you have gone through your undergrad., it is a great idea to work in Lahore and be by the side of your mother when she needs you. This experience of yours will really open your mind about the work place and give you more hands on experience. Do not go abroad of the basic reason at the back of your mind is " escape from marraige", all of us have to get married one day and adjust to a new life, and what difference does one year here and there really make?
thirdly, Masters can be done at any time in your life, even after you get married, just like i pursued my undergrad. after i got married.So it is not like that you will NEVER have an oppurtunity to do your masters, but yes you might never have the oppurtunity to be by your mothers side especially when she needs you the most.
6:33 PM
First of all WOAH!!! Secondly thank you guys so much for taking time out to comment and help me solve my dilemma :)it has been a great help some comments and concerns:
1.Safety issue: I agree with Haroon that “Every location on the face of the planet can be subjected to terrorism, terrorists do not respect national borders.” And sana that “the fact is we really cant hide away in Pakistan and stop living (when Pakistan could also be a very likely target for terrorism) just cuz there is a possibility that something might happen again in London while were there.we were in the us during the 9/11 time but we didnt come running back to pakistan did we.” TRUE
but as nahz and khizra said the london bombing situation needs to be considered and we cant be in denial…after 9-11 my parents would NEVER send me to new york city and I think if I was in nyc they would have called me back...so that changes things...London in my opinion is def not safe not only cos of the threat of another attack but also cos of the intense backlash-there are horror stories of goras spitting on the faces of Pakistanis and taking women’s head scarves of..so NOT amusing
2. My mother: sana and jarrar I agree that there are plenty of holidays in London but the fact is I will know that I left her all alone...also in the next few yrs realistically I will be married and move away and will probably regret not spending this year with her...it may be sentimental/emotional/irrational but just how I feel
3. Opportunity cost: the truth is I can either do the One village one product thing or go to regents business school its either or….either opportunity will not present itself again…maybe new ones...but not these…so I wont sit here and fool myself that I can do both i.e. go to regents and when I come back ill join OTOP..or vice versa= work now and go to regents next year…unfortunately it doesn’t work like that…at least in my case…and its not just because of marriage..
4. the marriage question: the fact is going to London is an escape from the marriage question and staying here I will have to face the thunder…but nobody is going to force me to do anything I don’t wanna…it’s the pressure I was hoping to escape
5. Sana Khan: as Haroon said “You made a commitment to Sana, where both of you had planned to pursue your Masters together. Right now I would have fully supported you remaining in Lahore and moving on with life, but the only factor, which asks me to speak in favor of going to London, is that you and her had a deal.” I gave her my word…we were supposed to go apartment hunting together..live in the same building share a fabulous year in London…oh the plans!!!! How can I ditch her last minute!?!? She will never forgive me and I will never be able to forgive myself outta absolute guilt
1:03 AM
6. For whom: no decision/s(definitely not the big decisions in life) are made for just one reason or for one person…whatever decision I make... it will be taking all these various factors into consideration...of course I will reach a decision on my own but it will not necessarily be for me alone...that’s my only point...once I make a decision I know there’s no looking back and I know that inshallah I will not be wasting my time whining about the “coulda woulda shoulda” sex and the city style :)
7. The right reasons: nahz said“Lastly, your blog title "Escape Vs Reality"; London = escape, and Reality = wat u r escaping from..and hence ur question "To escape or not to escape" spells out that ur intentions of goin for masters mite not b for all the rite reasons. Think abt it...Anonymous mite be rite here mooo,"You're scared of what may lie ahead (so you want to go to London)" OF COURSE… many of you have voiced your concern regarding why I wanna do a masters = am I wanting to go for “the right reasons” but I think there is no such thing as right/wrong reasons in this scenario… “right reasons” is a veryyy veryyyy subjective concept…the reasons I have stated in my blog are reasons enough for me and that makes it right for ME…everyone has different motivations for the decisions they make and the paths they choose to take…even two people pursuing the same goal can have completely different motivations for doing so…
8. Why do masters: Mariam said and rightly so, “Firstly I think doing your masters is great but it's not something you have to do. Doing your masters doesn't necessarily mean you'll become smarter or better at whatever work you choose to do.” ABSOLUTELY Nahz said, “a degree is only a passport to job interviews..we pursue masters after bachelors just so we have a bigger and advantage and a better chance at being chosen in this very competitive world..and after the masters if u dont do this job-wats the point of that extra knowledge..” I agree with you guys 100% that doing a masters is NOT a necessity…it doesn’t ensure you will have a successful life/career/marriage what have you and it doesn’t necessarily make you a better/smarter/happier person either. But nahz contrary to what you said knowledge is never extra and knowledge is never wasted….as khizra said, “masters is not compulsory! its a choice u have.” And because I have that choice at this moment in my life (I got in and was all set to go)it’s a tough decision to make. Different people pursue a masters for different reasons: some one may do a masters to pursue a career/survive/be a more educated mother/to be “well-rounded” I don’t think they are mutually exclusive…and you can’t say what is better or worse… I for one want to do a masters for all those reasons above but most of all I want to do a masters not for survival, or to be the worlds richest woman, or the worlds brightest woman- I wanna do it for me- to quench my own thirst for knowledge, diversify my academic experience, to be in a position to help my father with his business if need be,to be more educated, to be more enlightened and so soooo many other reasons… and mals I was also looking forward to the studying aspect( exams deadlines cramming) as much as the trips/movies/food/fun/freedom that’s what makes the college experience so thrilling/complete/challenging.
9. The jump: I know I have to start living in the real world eventually haha…I know the jump has to be made sooner or later and mariam is right “ even if you go to london when you come back next year you'll have to do the whole getting used to Lahore (the post-college adjustment you talked about) all over again.” Yup
1:45 AM
10. Post marriage: Mariam is absolutely right when she says,” just because you don't work after you're married, doesn't mean that you're useless. And it doesn't mean that you wait for your husband to come home and then complain to him about not giving you enough time. And also, doing your masters is not something everyone has to do in their lives. It's really good if you do it, but it's not like you've missed out or that you're not smart just because you haven't. I'd be very happy to sit at home, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. A person might do more sitting at home than another person sitting in an office.” I agree with you 110% but everyone is destined for different things = different strokes for diff folks…there is nothing wrong with being a homemaker in fact I think it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world because it requires constant patience/sacrifice/hard work/dedication/commitment and so many other qualities…and nahz is right “just as there is a need for having a breadwinner there is a desperate need for a homemaker. The two (hand in hand) are a necessity for a healthy household….Being a housewife is a selfemployed job in a way.” TOTALLY but sana is right when she says it’s a higher probability the I or anyone in a smiliar position will be able to work after marriage as opposed to rushing of to pursue a masters degree. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and they should do what feels right/good for them and makes them happy…one option is not better/more superior than the other and that’s for sure…for me personally I know I definitely want to work…I don’t know if ill work after I have children though because once you have children they become your no. 1 priority and you wanna do ur best to provide them with the best home...best again is subjective...but im telling you how I feel..sana said, “marriage should not be seen as a barrier towards getting a job.if ure married it certainly doesnt mean u cant work anymore …our education doesn’t force us to work but gives us more choices for the future.” I could not agree with you more...for me marriage is not a barrier to work…but children may be only because I feel they will be my no. 1 priority…but marriage does not mean you cant work and not working after marriage doesn’t mean you’re a failure in life…as I said different strokes for different folks!!!!
1:49 AM
hmmmm....
at this point after u've analysed everything...and its evident that the final decision has to be ur own...i think the best thing i can offer u right now is one of my famous 'punjabi' hugs(which u will feel for real in december)...and a serious *looking u in the eye*
"i know u can do it champ, make a decision and prove to urself that its the right one!"
lol...goodluck mehrro!mwah!
3:36 AM
jesus christ!hmm everythings that could be said has been said.ok heres how i see it.
the decision you make as you said will be influenced by many factors.terrorism is not one of them.should not be one of them.predestined as Pakistan's most good looking parliamentarian to be pointed out earlier on.
2.i understand u wanting to spend time with ure mom.in this regard i think that u just took a year off.london isnt that far off.and if you do decide to stay and do the OVOP thingy youll be so busy you'll hardly get much quality time anyway.obviously it'll be much more time than if you were in london but still i would hope the OVOP thingy would be so intensive that it'd keep anyone involved in the project busy as hell.
3.Opportunity cost is tricky.as mariam said masters degree boohoo.but then again experience and all that are fine but theres a reaSON masters programme is offerred and its not just because universities wanna make money off people too scared to step into the real world.masters definetely equip a person better.it makes you better qualified.some more so than others.and frankly this is it.after this i dont see much of a chance of you getting the opportunity to do masters.but what you need to ask yourself is why you applied in the first place.to enrich yourself and learn more stuff to make you better qualified or so that you could escape?if escape is the answer then stay put missy cos then you'll never stop running and escaping.better to face the sharks and mow them down now then to run away and get bitten in the bottom really hard some day.
4.Sana deal is there but obviously sana will understand if you decide not too go.she'll be pissed and dissapointed as hell but she'll understand.
5.finally a yr in london vs. a yr in lahore at this stage of our lives is no comparison.parties,movies,theatre,fine dining,travelling the continent etc as a care free student is something you can never get or match ever.emphasis on care free student and one year.
one last solution could be to get ali admitted into eton or harrow and take your mum along.but that wont happen.
11:14 AM
hahaha brilliant idea Haroon..you make a better/more sensible "meher khan tareen" than i could ever be
9:14 PM
khizzy thank you for your "punjabi" hug and the support...also i loveddd the pics on ur blog/kays/jammies tooo good mashallah and the lights in the tent looked magical
J thank you for alwayssss being the voice of reason in my life you aighttt also will start postin on future of pakistan soon so dont worry
9:29 PM
Believe me these ppl are bullshitting!!! Go and party like hell....this is the time....these ppl seem too young to understand... everyone works in the end!everyone gets married...the same old goes on and on...this is the time....one year...:) travel...go to monaco...go to sicily...just imagine sipping wine on a yacht in clear blue waters with gorgeous hunks around ;) or go to Capri and spend some time in the Spa....shit i wanna go too..;( Believe me I have my own NGO and im in Politics...im passionate abt it...yes...but maybe thats why cause i carried on with my masters after doin 2 bachelors while in england...ppl around me thought i was crazy...but only i knew....i knew i needed more pampering ;)It helped me so much that the attitude is like been there done that...u wont have to think abt it then....believe me....now even a month holiday in summers seem brilliant...so dont listen to kids....just go..and by the way Tramps is rocking in london nowadays...so is Um Baba a fantastic club...collection Bar and Eclipse....so just do it! U wouldnt get a better advise. Ciao
11:36 PM
LUMS all the way!
1:18 AM
u guys need tp get laid! ;) if ure frustrated dont let the girl get trapped in this shit...she will get married...she will work...but this one year wont come back...and the way ull cherish this one year.....uffffff....unbelievable.....oye everyone why cant u see ure friend being happy...yeah if u have to earn and run ure house then its a different matter..but as i dont know who u are and if u dont have any problems with finances then just run...pakistan is not going anywhere...lol...this place can wait for another year..believe me jo bhutto na kar saka woh ik saal london jaane sai bhi nahin ho ga....as for Smeda...beleive me they will bug the fuck out of u...ive dealt with them...honey u need to get out of here and believe me ull love it....come back and take care of pakistan...lol...oh my god im enjoyin this so much...lol...i never knew giving advice is so much fun...arent u tired of aylanto...boring bloody GTs with the same small talk....bhaagoo yahan sei...pick up sunday times...half of assholes are there...how long could u party with them...most of them are gay anyways...so guy potential goes down...and being a guy believe me there arent any women around as well....lol...whats gotton wrong with this place...where are all the good looking ppl....Run Woman Run...remember me when u go to tramps as ummm....666...lol...but even satan sometimes gives good advice...lol...take care...im off to sleep....im sure ure baby council will give there cute advices...lol...after a few years ull just laugh at them.....this is no time to be serious...do whatevr u can b4 u get married cause u never know how hes gonna turn up....hopefully good! Ciao
2:20 AM
MAYHAIR!!
No, a masters is not just a 'passport' to a better job. Its an opportunity to learn something you didn't during your bachelors. But, work experience teaches you so much more than you can ever learn in books or lectures.
The job sounds wonderful but the satisfaction that comes from doing it all on your own and not having something handed to you is undescribeable. The satisfaction of giving a good interview and being hired just for your credentials has its own high.
Everything has its pros and cons. Just rememebr, (and I'm talking from experience!) the best things happen when you least expect them. You can't plan your life. You can't believe 'now or never'. You can't escape for a year and think you'll be ready in the next. Allah humesha humari behtari karta hai. Believe that and the best things will insha'Allah come your way.. maybe not today, but definately some day!
3:19 PM
Haha Mroo has such good friends .. 43 comments is a lot!!!
First of all why does this anonymous person keep calling us all kids ?! How old are you? haha
Yes, London would be a lot of fun.. but she can do all this yacht and spa stuff on holidays (inshallah!). And it's not like Lahore is the most boring place on earth either.. you can have fun wherever you are. =]
Asma apa: if you're given an opportunity to do some good in the world you should take it whether you've given an interview for it or whether it's 'handed to you'.. I think God gives us opportunities in different ways and if they're good we should take them.. otherwise we'll always be waiting for things to happen some other way and give up stuff thats here right now for us to take. =]
SOO Mehroo Aps... What have you decided??!?!
1:41 AM
I think lums was a very good idea. The only thing is that the application deadline has passed.. otherwise it seemed to be a good solution!
4:43 PM
Hey Kids...Sugar Daddy 666 here...lol...and by the ways "this anonymous" person is not she hes "he"...so more wiser.. and judging from ure comments I think im a bit older than u...;)As for mariamkt who thinks LUMS is a good idea..ha ha... plus doin good in this world...honey why dont u join a madrassa and change their image...thatll be the best service u could provide to this country plus humanity in this world ;)....and as for the one in question who hasnt even replied on this blog for a while :)...shes started a cult!!!...Brilliant Honey! i told u earlier that u have it in u...It takes one to know one...lol...but one would not never really enjoy something if theres something else on their mind...It seems this masters thing is on ure mind...with all the pleasures that come with london...Hence u need to get it out of ure way... that way after a year in london u would have had ure share of travelling...fun...privacy...u would have time to think....plus a masters degree...u would be better ready for marriage...work...and wont blame others for keepin u here...and if u really wanna get into economic and social development of this country then u need to go to Warwick, Sussex or Soas to study Development Studies...that would be better suited to the career u seem to pursue! Take Care and hi to all ure Happy Meal Friends ;)
5:20 PM
hey nahzat honey...i dont need any support..especially from happy meal kids....believe me...even replying this seems pathetic but then again who cares as long as u dont know who i am so who cares...ull actually be shocked if u know who i am...but that ull never know...;) so forget that...
honey i have convinced 2 of my friends who studied at oxford from not going to jihad in bosnia so i know what im talking abt...call me satan or the devil...who cares! believe me i know ure friend me love me for ever...
12:09 AM
...for giving this advice for london...nighty night...kidsee
12:10 AM
without ever knowing my identity...lol...meher bhagoo yahein see...lol... ure happy meals ideas in nutshells....lums...marriage...lums....marriage....lolrun mehar run...;)
12:16 AM
asoonz: while i agree that its amazing to make something of yourself all by yourself i think its totally overrated...i think its naive to think thats the "best" way...for example if my father runs a mill i'd rather help him out...decrease his work load and do something of my own on the side instead of saying forget you im going to do my own thing for my own personal gratification...if your father can help you takeee hisss helpppp stupidddd and vice versa...its like the man who was drowning waiting for God to save him and let the rescue boats go by...when he died God was like you idiot that was me trying to save you i couldnt come down myself could i...so I agree with mariam that its all about opportunities...and your right "Allah humesha humari behtari karta hai" thankkkk Goddd hehehe
2:03 AM
anonymous i agree with some of the things u've said as some of your reasons for going to london are soooo true and tempting and i was pretty amused by your comments even by ur slight obnoxiousness till you started insulting my friends which is NOT cool so please stop and immediately...I welcome comments in general by anyone who wishes to do so but interaction with an anonymous person is kinda like shootin darts in the dark and for that reason i would like to request that if ur too lazy to create a user name please sign your name at the end...dont hide behind the security of anonymity be proud of who you are and confident about what you have to say..aightt
2:06 AM
Haroon i really like ur LUMS idea and theres NOTHING wrong with it as an institution on the contrary its better than many universities abroad...my parents love the idea but as mariam said i have missed the deadline and who knows where ill be in a year (state of mind/mood wise) also it kills the non-academic reasons i wanna go to london hahaha the whole escape aspect...but thankx!!!1
2:11 AM
p.s i'd like to add that if i do take this job i will not be paid...since my father is in the government he doesnt think its "appropriate" to do so and i agree...
2:21 AM
anonomous is a bit pompous if i may say so.
3:00 AM
Instead of anonymous lets call me abnoxious...lol... and by the ways whats the point in signing in...as u dont know me and i dont wanna give my identity away...its not abt confidence...its just that i found u through my secretary while researching plus lahore is too small a place...sometimes its better to hear from ppl who dont know u at all...so no need for my identity...as for insulting ure friends...apology honey...thats just the way i talk....if u knew me u would have known i never mean it personally...so cant help u there....and as for shooting darts... and being lazy....well i just felt like tellin u what i thought whether u like it or not...without any motives...just consider it as someone u met in a cafe who u spoke to u randomnly knowing u would never meet him again...anyways have a safe trip to london ;)...wont be able to give my comments anymore...lol...(lucky u)!!! going back to the local politics in my village....might see u in the national assembly in 2007 or tramps in december! and believe me ull know who i am once u are there...the one who stands apart from the rest...lol...Ciao and best of luck in life whatever u do cult starter!
3:01 AM
Pompous with a capital P! :^)
3:12 AM
last line before i leave for my village jarrar...if u get to know who i am i swear u would agree why im pompous...junior...;)infact ull be quite shocked...Anyways wish me luck...its too hot to run for elections...but will survive...lol...:) and by the ways theres another anonymous trying to take my place...lol...Must be Lahori...i wont be replying any more so dont blame me for this guy/girls comments....Ciao
3:20 AM
arite... so much agree with rabia. this anonymous, abnoxious kid, whatever he is... is not gettin very far in life. it doesnt take an idiot to work out his attitude is that of a fools. he's far too over confident about himself and his advice ...and then he wants to patronize others. i wonder if he wouldve given the same advice to his sister.? i doubt it. actually, who knows -he just sounds strange. his friends are from oxford, he has a secretary, he wants to one day sit in the NA, damn, i hope he can find himself a personality sometime soon.
4:52 AM
obnoxious from village...lol...i didnt know that i would be criticised so much...lol...feel like Salman Rushdie...It seems as if U bloggies have issued a FATWA against me...but then again hes pulled such a hot babe so respect to him...as for personality....;)...believe me ull be the first one to vote for me...if i could make ppl angry...i could make them love me as well...true qualities of a politician ;) if u knew me ud understand...i was testing my abilities and i think ive done well...Apologies to all who got offended in the process...its for the greater good of ure country...i have a dream...lol...forget it obnoxious its a bit too early for a speech...lol...Ciao
12:48 PM
God damnnnnn..i think its time for a new blog hehehe...will post something 2nite but on www.futureofpakistan.blogspot.com check it out if you guys find the time...thankx again for all your comments...i really do appreciate it you guys!!!ur the bestttt!!!
4:06 PM
Fuck Meher. That must be soo tough. I was away in Murree for the past week or so and I came back to see this. I can totally imagine your dilemma. I think you fabulously expressed what every Pakistani (especially Lahori) girl went through upon moving back to college. And I hear you when you say that your post college adjustment was easier b/c you knew in the back of your head that youwould leave in a year. Thats exactly what I am doing, and if a month or so before I was to leave in 2006, I would discover I couldn't go, I would be devastated. However, I think you are being tremendously strong about it. Not to mention extremely rational. You have outlined the pros and cons (and trust me I hear you, b/c my sister and borther are both committed in relationships in north america, sister is married, brother engaged, and so I was doomed to come back and give my lonely and ailing parents company, and yes I had all the guilt trips and the whoel nine yards.) Ok where the fuck was I. But yes, you are being soo smart about this, by trying to look at the positive side, doing something for Pakistan. I really admire you right now. I would have been over taken by the urge to party, to be free, to be on my own, and I would have chosen escape, w/o even considering reality. Without even thinking of options here, and I would have bitched about how unfair it is, and the ONLY thing I would want is to leave. So regardless of what you choose to do, the fact that you considered your options here, your lonely mother, helping your country - w/o being lured into the route labeled "escape" which is oh so tempting - makes you a better person than a lot of us. So props to you. I know whatever you choose to do will be well thought out and Inshallah will work out great for you. Best of luck. I can imagine this is a tough time for you so be strong. And please meet me, the marriage question is the killer of all times, and much bonding should be done :) take care babe
9:37 PM
i say go with the escape. heh this is from someone who's had her escape brutally snatched away.:P
6:45 PM
after reading all your comments and sp rehannas i want to go to london and BAD but convincing my parents is another story altogether...stories of intense backlash,the innocent brazilian who was shot 5 times in the head,stories of goras shouting "paki go home",aunties coming over and convincing me going to london is the worst idea ever under the circumstances- all that means that either ill have to throw 3000 fits to go or ill have to just 4get bout london and take a leap of faith into the "real world"...im so sickkkk of fighting!!!!so now this is the irony- it seems to me like i really dont have a choice anymore...with each day that goes by its clear to me that ill just have to stay here and make the most of it!!! SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSS...i know ill get over it and there are many many advantages to staying back but for now i must sulk n sulk n sulk till i get it outta my system!!!!
7:09 PM
sakina sakina sakina..impressedddd i ammm dahlingggg...apparently marriage does bring maturity and wisdom eh?hahaha...acha this is the solution...im coming to toronto for a relaxing and rejuvenating much needed 3 week vacation and will start work after that...so i have time to mentally prepare myself and have my share of fun in the sun hahaha
10:54 PM
think u should go...but in all likelihood u wud not come back...try to face it before u go...
i myself made a mistake of not escaping...i dont consider it a mistake anymore
Sid
12:28 AM
“Sacrifice is a part of life. It’s supposed to be. It’s not something to regret. It’s something to aspire to. Little sacrifices. Big sacrifices. A mother works so her son can go to school. A daughter moves home to take care of her sick father…that’s the thing. Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on to someone else. ” THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN
9:50 AM
Hello Meher. I was basically looking for material on Choueifat, Lahore and came across your site. If you do decide to stay in Lahore, how about a one-year teaching stint at your own school. I am sure you will be extremely welcome and will be able to IMPRESS a lot of young minds...
You will make a difference in Choueifat and learn a lot about life and become more mature through the experience. I never thought i would ever want to teach but believe me if you teach only for a short time, you do not get bored, thus retain your enthusiasm and touch hundreds of hearts (of the students) and live in their memories...hope you really think about my suggestion and please encourage people who might make a difference to teach. Unfortunately, if we always depend on teachers who teach for money we will never be satisfied with our educational system.
6:47 PM
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