Escape Vs. Reality

Many times in life you find yourself at a crossroads, not knowing which path to take...that's where I find myself today...I'm faced with a serious dilemma-I was all set to go to London this September for a masters in international marketing management to the Regents Business School-turns out my parents dont want me to go! how did this happen!?!well one: London bombings= london’s unsafe, back lash anticipated =my parents too scared to let me go- thank you al qaeda...two: both my sisters are at college in Toronto,my brother is in school and at sixteen he's oh so busy doing his thang, work has forced my father to spend the majoirty of his time in good old isloo which leaves my mother all alone in lahore, so abandoning her could possibly be the most selfish and ruthless move ever, considering the millions of sacrifices shes made for me over the years…three: the alternative is to work which seems like an exciting prospect but it means getting out of my bubble and start living in the real world arghhh...the problem is I want to go to London so bad, it almost feels like a NEED...you see the reason my post college transition was so smooth was because at the back of my head I knew I was leaving in a year…because I didn’t feel this was forever and saw light at the end of the tunnel I didn’t feel the intense suffocation/frustration/feeling trapped post college phenomenon…right now London seems sooo close yet soooooo far…a whole year to be on my own, to be at college again in my own little apartment- the freedom= no curfews, no restrictions, no obligations per se- the trips sana and I had planned to random locations in europe…good food, the cinemas, walking around, the riding classes we were supposed to take, the plan to face my worse nightmare- accouting and finance and knowing that I can have a masters degree by next summer…but my biggest reason for wanting to go to london (besides the fact that sana will never forgive me for ditching her last minute) is to escape the marriage question…but right now everything is at stake-everything in question...one thing's for sure though-London is the perfect escape!

The other option is to face the reality that is my life (I know I want to live in my own country, don’t wanna be a brain drain stat and want to try and make whatever little difference I can to the plight of my own people and give back to the country that has given me everything I have ever needed) work in pakistan and just learn to adjust…In an effort to convince me of just that, my father sent me to spend the day with Hina Rabbani Khar (who btw is tooo damn cool) to work on the One Village One Product programme. Although the programme is in the incubator stage right now, I got a chance to see it materialize, first hand and it was a long, exciting and exhausting day. The One Village, One Product programme started in Japan to promote regional revitalization and was adopted by Thailand, Korea and Malaysia. Basically what happens is that each local community identifies one (in some cases more) locally unique product (for example Multan is famous for its tiles), the product is then “modernized” by top designers so that it can be sold (this includes design/packaging/ marketing), a local brand is established, and the products are then sold to the domestic market and/or beyond. As a result you speed up development of the local economy, boost rural development and empower these brilliant craftsmen (who in most cases are women) by providing them a market to sell their goods (teaching them to fish vs. giving them fish, philosophy). So you are able to create a positive economic and social impact. It’s a huge task and a great opportunity and I cant help but think I’ll be a big fat fool not to take it.

FACT: If I leave my mother alone I will absolutely die of guilt- it is my responsibility as the eldest and a part of me knows I should own up to it. FACT: most of my friends are back from college and its so tempting to stay back just for that.FACT: Regents business school isn’t exactly Harvard FACT: I will always regret not going to London sp. if my life long desire/hunger for higher education is not satiated FACT: I will have to deal with the marriage question cos I wont be able to get away with saying I’m studying- daimmmmm FACT: I have paid a hefty registration fee which of course is non-refundable FACT: I need to get away, need a break, need the freedom, need to be on my own…yes there are pros and cons for both options but it boils down to this--- > I can either study/learn about marketing management in London or practice it by working here in Pakistan…maybe this is my chance to contribute/to do my little bit for my country instead of just talking about it…maybe I should put my plans for masters on hold for now, work and apply next year…but why do I know in my gut- its now or never!

To escape or not to escape that is the question…

escape

Jihad

I was thinking about what Rehanna said about Morgan Spurlock's documentary/programme...she said, " Spurlock went up to random people in nyc and asked them what the first thing that comes to mind for them was when he'd say "islam" and they were like.. "terrorists". and then he'd go further down the street and try someone else and be like "terrorist".. and the person was like "hmm.. i think of islam, muslims.. jihad." i was like oh No". That's right!!! unfortunately the term jihad has become associated (if not synonymous) with Islamic fundamentalism and terrorism which it is so notttt...so I thought I would write a blog about what Jihad actually is/supposed to be in Islam.

With regard to jihad, Asma Hassan says, “I should point out that by no means does jihad imply terrorism, death, or holy war. In America, Muslims understand jihad for what it really means: struggle. That’s right, jihad merely means struggle, not a holy war or a war against all Americans. Consistent with the Quran and Prophet Muhammad’s life, it often applies to an inner struggle to strengthen one’s beliefs against corrupting and anti-Islamic forces.” Ahmed Rashid states, “Western thought, heavily influenced by the medieval Christian Crusades has always portrayed jihad as an Islamic war against unbelievers. But essentially jihad is the inner struggle of a Muslim to become a better human being, improve himself and help his community.”

Bassiouni says, “The word jihad means “struggle” in Arabic, and its application is as varied as that of its English counterpart. It applies to individuals and to collectivities, and ranges from spiritual to armed struggle. Emphasizing the spiritual aspects of jihad, Prophet Muhammad referred to war as the smaller jihad, in contrast to the struggle against oneself (for goodness and piety) as the greater jihad…detractors of Islam, as well as orientalists, have almost exclusively focused on the warlike aspect of jihad.” Islamic fundamentalists have also tended to focus on the warlike aspects of jihad and according to Esposito both mainstream and extremist movements and “holy warriors” like Osama bin Laden have SELECTIVELY used the warlike aspect of jihad for their own purposes.

According to Rashid, “Islam also sanctions rebellion against an unjust ruler, whether Muslim or not and jihad is the mobilizing mechanism to achieve change. Thus the life of Prophet Muhammad has become the jihadi model of impeccable Muslim behavior and political change as the Prophet himself rebelled, with deep religious and moral anger, against the corrupt Arab society he was living in…Yet jihad does NOT sanction the killing of fellow Muslims on the basis of ethnicity or sect…” Nor does it sanction the killing of innocent non-Muslims.

Al-Qaeda is led by bin Laden and Zawahiri, however its infrastructure is decentralized as each cell operates independently with its members not knowing the identity of other cells. Therefore the problem is that its set up in such a way that the organization cannot fall apart even if the top leadership is eliminated...

9-11 happened because Al- Qaeda wanted to get the attention of the ‘sleeping giant’, who in their opinion had been bullying the Muslims for years (by occupying their holy lands, taking their resources, exporting western ideas, blindly supporting Israel and countless dictatorships, and funding the genocide of Muslims around the world for years) so they bombed the twin towers in NYC and killed hundreds of Muslims?!?! does that make sense?!? can terrorism be justified?!!? now they have attacked London....in the last televised al-qaeda video zawahiri included Pakistan on the list of "evil" nations...are we next?!?! where will this stop??! can it stop?!? these fundos are making a mockery of our religion and we are standing here confused, frustrated, petrified and absolutely helpless...

bin laden

Terrorism Strikes London

I am angryyyy and frustratedddddd…..I woke up well slept and happy turned on the tv and was appalled to see havoc and commotion on the BBC…as I rubbed my eyes in disbelief I realized that London had been rocked by terrorist attacks-six blasts reported in central London, more than 100 casualties and two reported dead, all of London’s transport was at a standstill and the world was left shocked/frustrated/angry yet again. The first thing I told myself, “Oh! Please Allah Mian don’t let Muslims be behind these attacks, please don’t let it be al- Qaeda.” But of course to my dismay and humiliation it was. According to the BBC, an Islamist website posted a statement - allegedly from al-Qaeda - claiming it was behind the attacks. How sweet!!! I watched a visibly shaken Tony Blair make a statement, he said it was “particularly barbaric” that these attacks were timed to coincide with the G8 summit. That’s an understatement!

WHYYYYY?!?! Why have these terrorists high jacked our religion?!? Why are they giving us a bad name!?! What are they trying to achieve by causing death and destruction to innocent civilians?!?! How is terrorism supposed to solve anything?!?! Yes I understand the goal of Al-Qaeda is not mayhem and destruction, for the sake of it, but instead it is to drive out the US from the middle-east, tell these superpowers to stop interfering in our affairs, and return Islam and Muslims to a status reminiscent of the glorious Muslim past…BUT this is not the way to do it. These assholes have misinterpreted Islam (applying selective definitions from the Quran and Hadith to justify their actions) why don’t they understand that by such barbaric actions they are NOT improving the plight of Muslims but instead are harming both Islam and Muslims worldwide. Yes I feel for Muslim freedom struggles in Palestine, Chechnya, Bosnia, Kosovo, Kashmir- we ALL do…YES we have been treated unfairly by these superpowers sp. America and yes the United Kingdom is its biggest ally BUT comon for God’s sake get over it!!!! If Muslims invest all this time/effort/energy/intelligence/money/hard work/dedication toward a positive cause (like education, health, sanitation) instead of causing death and destruction- we would definitely go places. Why can’t we stop pointing fingers at others who have treated us unfairly? Why can’t we improve ourselves? Strengthen ourselves from within?whyyyyyyyy?!?

london attack

The Old Cow-New Cow Theory

Have you ever wondered why so many men (and okay some women) cheat? I have never figured out why these men, who have the perfect wives at home, still feel the need for a mistress or two. And its not just married men, I know boys who have gone out with two girls simultaneously (of course the girls had no clue). And then there are men who have had a solid seven year relationship with the perfect girl who they love, adore and want to marry, but still cheat...WHY? Well Laura Zigman’s “Old Cow-New Cow Theory” theory may explain this bizarre phenomenon (also seen in the movie, Someone like you). The theory claims that the mating rituals of cows can be used to explain why men lose interest in their old girlfriends/wives and seek new partners.

According to Glenn Wilson, “The males of most mammalian species have a definite urge towards seeking variety in their sexual partners. If a male rat is introduced to a female rat in a cage, a remarkably high copulation rate will be observed at first. Then, progressively, the male will tire of that particular female and, even though there is no apparent change in her receptivity, he eventually reaches a point where he has little apparent libido. However, if the original female is then removed and a fresh one supplied, the male is immediately restored to his former vigor and enthusiasm.” interestingggggg

Also, “Rams and bulls are unmistakably resistant to repeating sex with the same female. A single bull can be relied upon to do the rounds of all the available cows, and a single ram will eventually service all the sheep in his domain. Male animals do not choose their mates randomly: they identify and reject those that they have already had sex with. In the case of rams and bulls it is notoriously difficult to fool them that a female is unfamiliar. Attempts to disguise an old partner by covering her face and body or masking her odors with other smells are usually unsuccessful. Somehow she is identified as "already serviced" and the male moves on to less familiar females.” Glenn Wilson, The Great Sex Divide

The thing is human beings do have animal instincts and so I think this theory sheds light on why so many men (not all) tire of their long-term partners and long for something/someone new. But even if we ignore this specific application of the theory( cheating or leaving your old girlfriend/boyfriend for a new one) we know that ANYTHING new seems more appealing, be it a new pair of shoes you just have to have or a new book you’ve just bought and cant wait to read. There is a degree of mystery, excitement and pleasure that is associated with anything new. Perhaps this is because once we’ve had something for too long we start to take it for granted; the old becomes the standard and boring and anything new is seen as fresh/different and therefore thrilling. Even if we have the perfect partner, after a while, we start to take them for granted and in the words of Carrie Bradshaw the relationship starts to lose the "tza tza tzoo".

Okay okayyy i know human beings are more complex and there are a thousand different factors that affect human emotions/relationships/decisions; and as tempting as it may be, no one single theory can be used to explain human behavior- fine. I realize this theory is one-dimensional and we happen to be a little more complicated than cows, but comon this theory, as simplistic as it may be, does bear some resemblance to the truth, doesn’t it?!?!

cows