High School Reunion

School was a such magical time- non-issues that seemed like life altering occurrences, the endless list of rules and the thrill of breaking them, water fights, the exhilaration of bunking (even though that meant hiding out in the bathroom), passing notes in class, the trepidation of o levels, the excitement of volleyball, the insanely gross yellow uniform, the obnoxious names we had for our teachers, the talent shows which always included a fashion show hahaha, the basketball matches with l.a.s and l.c.a.s which was, lets face it, a time to see and be seen hahaha…lunch at zouk, bowling, ice cream at chill out, the elation of a new crush, the endless giggles and laughing fits, the photo sessions- God we thought we were gorgeous when in actuality we were bushy eye browed, swollen nosed awkward teenagers who were pretty damn clueless when it came to “dressing up” hahaha (for the majority of our high school experience anyway)- then of course there were the cliques, the labels, the attitudeee and of course the studs who were “too cool for school” haha-we were convinced we were invincible…a world of possibilities lay ahead of us and it felt like it was ours for the taking…we were the Class of 2000 and life at The International School Of Choueifat was absolutely fabulous.

Five years later the Class of 2000 reunited unexpectedly and it was a surreal experience. It was the first time we met as people, as ourselves- without any cliques, without any labels, as all those distinctions seem to have faded away with the passage of time- except of course that there was voluntary segregation for most of the evening haha…it was heartening to know that each of us are excelling at our own field- some are pursuing law degrees, others mba’s, some have ventured into politics, others are tending to their lands, most have been initiated in to the family business, some are working abroad, a few are married, others engaged and most plain single and ecstatic. The “attitudes” had been shed for friendly conversing, bonding and lots of laughter…people had acquired better dress sense/style/confidence even accents but I couldn’t help but think none of us had changed all that much. It was surreal because so much time had passed without any kind of communication, we went to separate colleges, led separate lives, met different people, learnt new things- we grew up and grew apart, yet so much has stayed the same. I guess sometimes we overestimate the rate of expected change…after all we were expected to have Jetsonesque flying cars by year 2000…clearly that didn’t happen…and of course our very own city 2001- futuristic video game galore…how cute!!! So either we were expecting to transform drastically in the span of five years or it’s just that while we have all changed significantly as individuals, as a group we possess the same relationships/bonds/wave length as we did in high school and that’s why the change seems almost negligible…either way it’s a comfort to know that we can still relate to each other, it’s a comfort to know we still share this silent bond of having studied at the same place at the same time, being subjected to the same torture 8 hours a day…conclusion- some of the strongest bonds/ friendships are formed in high school and have the potential to become life long comradeships, but like every relationship they require constant nurture and care.

When I got home, I was tempted to go through my year book- whizzing through it I read the valedictory address and smiled to myself- the last paragraph read, “We first came to Choueifat so long ago as awkward kids. Over the years it has transformed us, against all odds, into awkward adults who can do calculus! Seriously, I am certain that we, the class of 2000, will be Nobel Prize Winners, famous doctors, leading economists, top scientists and renowned artists. Like the tree that symbolizes our school, we will by the grace of Allah, take root, branch out and enrich every corner of the world!” Bilal Aslam. Well we have a long way to go, but I think it’s safe to say we are on our way!!! Inshallah!

P.S those of you who couldn’t be there- just know that you were missed greatly!!!

reunion

Super Dee Dooper Man

When I was a kid I use to dress up as supergirl waiting for superman to come and sweep me of my feet-literally!!! I’d dream about flying over the world with him like Lois Lane…God I hated her hahaha…Superman was and perhaps still maybe my ideal man (although he was an alien hehe) he’s handsome,charming,powerful and hes just suchhhh a niceeee guy!!! He rescues cats from trees, endangers his life for people he doesn’t even know, acts behind the scenes and lets others receive the credit and his modesty and humility seem so soooo geuine and appealing that these qualities leave his foes and critics confused and dumbstruck, as they try to grapple why he spends his life helping others and doing good. I guess Superman symbolizes what is best in man.

In Kill bill 2 there is a discussion/dialogue between Bill and Beatrice about Superman’s unique condition of having Clark Kent as his alter ego instead of the other way around. Superman is who he is. Clark Kent is his 'alter ego', which is the opposite of most hero's. Bill explains that most superheroes are people who have to transform themselves to become a superhero: “Bruce Wayne has to put on a costume to become Batman, Peter Parker goes to bed and wakes up Peter Parker, not Spider-Man.” But Superman's real identity is Superman. His cape is the blanket from the rocketship that brought him to Earth, he is always that strong. For Superman, Clark Kent is the disguise: He puts on glasses he doesn't need, wears a suit that's human and not Kryptonian, and acts like a klutz and a coward. Bill thinks the Bride/Beatrice/Uma is like Superman: She's a killer, and even if she'd left, settled down, had a family, it would still be a disguise from her true self…so the question is can we really escape/change who we basically are?!?! And if some how we manage to escape it…how long before our ‘true self’ takes over?!?

One answer to the first question is offered by the science of doyletics which claims that every event that occurs to a child before it reaches the age of five is stored as an internal state, a physical body state, a.k.a doyles, which form the substrate of every feeling and emotion the child will experience for the rest of its life. In other words many psychologists etc think a child’s BASIC personality is formed before the age of five…hmmm this would definitely support Bill’s assertion that you cannot change your ‘true self’. About the second question…there is a general consensus that genes take over after 40…which I guess would support the ‘true self taking over’ theory…but while I feel our core may remain the same, personality is ever evolving…we are constantly changing and growing (at least I hope we are hehe) we are a product of our past and present, genes and upbringing= nature and nurture, the family we have and the friends we make…over the years because of all the reasons above our ideas change, our attitudes change, our idealogies evolve, our habits change…I for one don’t feel I am the same person I was last year…not because I have bi-polar disorder haha but because I would like to believe im older/wiser/stronger…but what if Bill is right?!?! What if all these changes are temporary (till we turn 40 and boom back to basics)!?!? What if we cant change our true self?!?!is all this effort in vain!?!?

Great Expectations

The tragedy of being the eldest child in your family (apart from the fact that you are a guinea pig) is that your parents expect you to be absolutely perfect. The eldest child is expected to be responsible, sensible, intelligent, witty and wise...And it’s not just parents who impose this pressure on us; almost everyone who is anyone in our lives automatically applies a high set of expectations for the first born. I remember when I was in school and would get an 18 outta 20 on an exam (which is an A+) I would rush home and ask my father, “Abu guess what I got on my math exam!”…he would casually say, “20?” as I noticed my ego and excitement deflate instantly...you are not only supposed to be responsible, sensible, intelligent, witty and wise to make your parents proud, but you have the added pressure of being the role model and setting an example for your younger siblings, whether you are eight or twenty eight- and that can be oh so tough…but these expectations/pressures don’t stop there nor do they solely apply to the eldest child. Our family, teachers/school, siblings, peers, religion, society and to a large extent the mass media all impose different pressures on us and are crucial factors that shape our personalities and make us who we are.

We are told by the media ‘thin is beautiful’, we are told by our parents that we must be well mannered, polite, intelligent, honest, honorable, decent human beings; we are told by our friends that we must be cool, smart, funny and fun to be with; we are told by our teachers to be brilliant, athletic well rounded individuals and of course everyone wants us to be shiny happy people…all smiles all the time…but what if you don’t feel shiny and happy 24 hours a day? What if your not super model skinny? What if you hate swimming?!!? Or worse- don’t know how to... None of us can be all these things and especially not all the time…then why the unrealistic and totally unattainable level of expectations?!?! I don’t know about you but I feel that once high expectations have been imposed on you it becomes a constant struggle/battle to keep up because the higher the expectations, the greater the chance of disappointment.…Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do or how hard I try I just cannot and do not measure up to the unrealistic, superwoman expectations to be oh so perfect by those around me…why cant we just love and accept our loved ones for who they are and not what we want them to be!??!whyyyyy?