The Ant Can't See

This July I remember feeling frustrated and confused trying to decide which course to take: masters vs. work. I craved the freedom and insouciance of life at college and dreaded the idea of work = getting out of the isolated little bubble that was my life in Lahore. My brain was working over time worrying me to death about the “ifs” “buts” and “oh shit’s”. I wanted to escape/runaway to London = my sanctuary where I could be on my own free to do as I please without any restrictions, obligations, questions of marriage and children looming large. I was faced with the opportunity to work in the One Village One Product Programme and I was too scared to reach out and grab it.

Forward to five months later- December 2005 update/current status: I got back from London three weeks ago after a much needed and refreshing 6 week break/change of scenery. I got a taste of the freedom I craved, ate like a maniac,took a trip to rome and many trips to new york,watched movies and learned how to make shoes hahaha(amongst other classes I was taking shoemaking at saint martins = trying to delve in to something creative for inspiration and fullfillment)Since my return I have started working at SMEDA (small and medium enterprise development authority) under the One Village One Product Programme (now known as AHAN aik hunar aik nagar) and I’m loving it. So I am very very grateful to God because I feel like I got the best of both worlds in SMALL doses- of course I didn’t get exactly what I wanted but its close enough for me to be ecstatic!

Point: Life has a strange way of working out/going your way even when you least expect it...so try and be patient (which is next to impossible for me to do hehe)

Raja of Mahmudabad rahimahullah has said: “What does the ant know of the pattern of a Persian carpet?” It is as if the ant is crawling through a forest of trees of the carpet and does not know what the pattern is, but if we look at it we see that the ant is in fact moving through a completely structured and determined set of patterns of enormous complexity. That is the reality of the existence of that instance. But this is also true of us.”

So the ant can’t see the pattern, but that don’t mean it aint there :) YA SEE!?!? So even if you can only see the trees you have to know that you are actually making your way through a forest...no matter how lost and direction less you feel, know that you will find your way...I’m not saying I have found mine but I know ill get there one day...all we can do is put in our all and know that we will get there- EVENTUALLY! inshallah :)